Cybersecurity incidents are more than just technical failures—they disrupt operations, erode trust, and demand fast, strategic responses to contain damage and recover effectively. The emotional toll of a breach often mirrors the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first introduced these stages in her work on grief, and their relevance to cybersecurity became clear as I reviewed recent breach reports. Time and again, I saw security leaders experiencing these same emotions. Recognizing this pattern can help organizations respond more effectively, reduce impact, and emerge stronger in the face of inevitable cyber threats.
1. Denial: "This can’t be happening"
At first, there’s disbelief. Maybe the logs are wrong. Maybe the alert is a false positive. Surely, the security measures in place would have prevented this.
But as the reality of encrypted files or leaked data sets in, denial quickly fades. The sooner organizations accept the breach as real, the sooner they can take meaningful action. With cyberattacks on the rise—Check Point Research reported a 30% year-over-year increase in attacks in Q2 2024, reaching an average of 1,636 attacks per organization per week—many organizations still underestimate their own vulnerability, despite the overwhelming evidence that breaches are becoming more frequent and severe.
2. Anger: "Who’s responsible for this?"
Next comes the search for blame. It might be an employee who clicked a phishing link, an unpatched system, or a misconfigured firewall. Tempers flare as teams look for a scapegoat.
But pointing fingers doesn’t fix the problem. While accountability matters, spending too much time looking for culprits delays critical response efforts. It’s noteworthy that 88% of cybersecurity breaches are caused by human error, highlighting the critical need for comprehensive training and awareness programs within organizations.
3. Bargaining: "Maybe it’s not that bad"
At this stage, hope creeps in. Maybe the attackers only got trivial data. Maybe backups are still viable. Maybe paying the ransom will bring back the files without consequence.
But hoping for a best-case scenario isn’t a strategy. Alarmingly, more than 77% of organizations do not have an incident response plan, leaving them unprepared to handle a breach effectively. Without a structured plan, response efforts become chaotic, recovery takes longer, and the financial and reputational impact deepens. Attackers rarely operate in good faith, and relying on their promises is a gamble with high stakes.
4. Depression: "This is a disaster"
When the full scope of the breach is understood, a wave of hopelessness often follows. The remediation process is daunting: incident response calls, regulatory scrutiny, customer notifications, and reputational fallout. Security teams feel exhausted and disheartened.
Beyond financial losses, breaches can have profound psychological effects. Victims often experience emotional distress, including feelings of anger, betrayal, and helplessness, which can lead to long-term mental health challenges. But this moment of despair is also a turning point.
5. Acceptance: "Here’s what we do next"
The organizations that recover best from breaches are the ones that reach acceptance quickly. Instead of lingering in blame or false hope, they take decisive action: clear disclosures, rapid notifications, and well-communicated remediation plans.
In today’s world, breaches are increasingly common—research from Splunk found that 90% of organizations faced at least one disruptive cyberattack in the past year, underscoring the pervasive nature of these threats. What sets companies apart is how they respond. The public, customers, and regulators are watching. Acceptance and responsibility are now the ultimate measures of a company’s credibility.
Moving forward with resilience
Organizations can shorten the emotional turmoil of a breach by planning ahead. A strong incident response plan, clear communication strategies, and a culture of accountability—not blame—help teams move past the first four stages faster.
Just as in healthcare, prevention and preparedness are key. Regular security check-ups, proactive risk management, and continuous improvement can reduce the impact of future breaches. And when incidents do occur, swift and responsible action makes all the difference.
Cybersecurity isn’t just about preventing attacks—it’s about managing them with intelligence, responsibility, and speed. The best security leaders don’t waste time in denial or anger; they move forward with clarity and confidence.
Is your organization prepared for the inevitable? NuHarbor Security helps you strengthen your defenses and build long-term resilience. Let’s talk about how we can support your security strategy.
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